[Dargon-writers-list] CRIT (LD): Challenge Story, draft 3

[William Donahue]

One comment, very minor. Otherwise RTP.

 >causeway being down.  But the distant location of the Corathin Pottery 
was on
 >this side of the Coldwell River, so that couldn't be the problem.  The 
sounds of

It's unfortunate that the earlier "this side of the Coldwell", which was 
more of an expression, seems to contradict the location. If the Pottery 
itself is on this side of the Coldwell, it seems unlikely that he is the 
only seller on that side. Maybe be more explicit: "this side of the 
Coldwell in Dargon"? Maybe not.

L